My siblings and I were watching I Am Legend yesterday, and I was describing the movie in my own perspective. I asked my brother if he's seen it before, and he said we watched it together in the movie theatre. My sister and E have also commented on how poor my recollection is, and it's starting to scare me. I know I don't remember events in my life vividly unless they were severely emotional experiences. My procedural memory is amazing, and my love of school continues to show how functional this memory is for me.
A classmate in my physiological psych class brought these journals about selective memory last year and it tries to find answers to why some people have the ability to "erase" memories. I have my own hypothesis using what I've learned about the brain: my amygdala focused on negative experiences for my survival as a child, and it's a pattern that I cannot fix. Throughout my life I've developed maladaptive behaviors (OCD) when exposed to similar negative or anxiety producing situations and as an adult who has finally learned productive methods of coping and acceptance for these past experiences and present similar situations... I am stuck.
I was boggled for years with why I don't remember people in my life, even if I know for certain we were good friends. My brain is just wired strangely when it comes to choosing which types of memories are going to be kept. I'm worried if this continues, I won't be able to remember happier moments, like when my child is born. We watched home videos together the other day and I'm trying to pair people with memories, but it's quite difficult. I remember when my cousins were in pain, or when something sad happened when we were together, but I don't remember doing anything fun or happy with them. I'm not trying to find memories. A professor once said sometimes memories are suppressed for a reason. It's a way for us to cope and move onward with our lives. Sometimes digging in the past will take you somewhere you don't want to be. I'm just trying to stop this pattern before I end up like Memento. That's way too creepy and exaggerated, but you know what I mean.
A classmate in my physiological psych class brought these journals about selective memory last year and it tries to find answers to why some people have the ability to "erase" memories. I have my own hypothesis using what I've learned about the brain: my amygdala focused on negative experiences for my survival as a child, and it's a pattern that I cannot fix. Throughout my life I've developed maladaptive behaviors (OCD) when exposed to similar negative or anxiety producing situations and as an adult who has finally learned productive methods of coping and acceptance for these past experiences and present similar situations... I am stuck.
I was boggled for years with why I don't remember people in my life, even if I know for certain we were good friends. My brain is just wired strangely when it comes to choosing which types of memories are going to be kept. I'm worried if this continues, I won't be able to remember happier moments, like when my child is born. We watched home videos together the other day and I'm trying to pair people with memories, but it's quite difficult. I remember when my cousins were in pain, or when something sad happened when we were together, but I don't remember doing anything fun or happy with them. I'm not trying to find memories. A professor once said sometimes memories are suppressed for a reason. It's a way for us to cope and move onward with our lives. Sometimes digging in the past will take you somewhere you don't want to be. I'm just trying to stop this pattern before I end up like Memento. That's way too creepy and exaggerated, but you know what I mean.
