Thursday, January 21, 2010

having a mentor or support group

I chatted with my mentor this morning. She was a psychology professor I had taken two wonderful classes with, and since I've decided to move towards new goals in life, I asked her to help support me with my direction. She's doing an excellent job lol. I feel more motivated and confident with my skills and past achievements, and how they will assist me with my future. My mentor offered me alternatives to the same goal, and it was warm not criticizing like a mother would do, even though most mothers think nagging equals caring.

I think I will always seek a mentor for something in life, whether it's for going back to school or searching for a new adventure or goal to accomplish. I have been mentoring girls and young women for a while now--six years, and I want to model what I do for these girls: seeking someone for guidance and support when you need it. Having someone who knows more about whatever field I'm interested in offers me their experience and guidance I could never obtain any other way. I try my best to offer guidance to the girls with their lives, and I cannot grow without learning constantly in my own life.

I also chatted with my dear friend, B. We talked about the benefits of the female gender stereotype, where we are allowed to feel more than the default emotions men are allowed to feel or understand. We wish we could retrain a population where both genders were allowed to feel all emotions without fears of being reprimanded or labeled an outsider of their genders. For women, we are more open to acknowledge feelings of depression. Men label it exhaustion or feelings of tiredness. Ah, my point. Having a support group is vital for healthy emotional well-being. Women who get together to talk are releasing stress and working their cognitive dramas out loud. This enables us to be more aware of what triggers our emotions as well as our partner's, which then allows us to avoid future negative outcomes. Men do not usually do this. I wish I had more information about stress and its negative effects on the physical body, but stress is serious stuff.

*btw support group is any person who will listen that is not your partner. This person shouldn't offer you advice unless you ask, and does not get you fired up about a negative topic. This person should help you reason and calm you down.

*the link is a start about stress

Thursday, January 7, 2010

starting over again

"Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth."
Benjamin Disraeli
British politician (1804 - 1881)

Happy 2010! I am fortunate to have a partner who is willing to take risks in life with me. And I need to know when there is no point in fighting for something I will never win. The logic and perspectives are not matching, so there is no use explaining. It turns out I will not be that boomerang kid like so many others. We are starting over financially. He told me, "At least you're living honestly," and how karma will brighten my days in the future. I wish I believed in it lol. Instead, I will continue with this endless search for employment. I will continue with losing money every month for the satisfaction of living on my own, and keeping the intimacy with my partner alive. We will be ok, and we both gave our word to work towards a positive future. We were in the kitchen making dinner tonight and he reminded me, "At least we're smiling and have each other." It does mean a lot to me, to have someone to remind me that things are always fluid, constantly changing, no matter how difficult it seems.

I have enough money to pay for grad school. And I am getting my application ready to send. I'm still sad about the future financial struggles that lie ahead, but fortunately for us we really are poor hippies. The free things in life really are the best when you're forced to search for them.